on my mind....

alright guys I know it's been forever....
thus everything has changed... my mom told me once that every 7 years your whole body regenerates new cells and your actually completely different than you were. that makes sense. 7 years ago I was 20, head over heels in love with my first serious boyfriend. and I was just so into my sorority sisters and school, partying and playing house with my ex.

7 years later, I have a great job, my own place, car and bills. Working hard to finish up the degree I didn't quite finish. no boyfriend. friends though... lots of those... a clear idea of what I want and deserve. still making mistakes and learning from them. still daydreaming of my prince arriving on his white horse... but more realistic... sometimes lol.

long conversations seem so far and few between. but i caught one last night. and mannnn it was eye opening.  really interesting to see how long i've know this guy... and watched him date all these women who were completely wrong for him, and one by one each relationship would bloom, then crash and burn. and I watched. never really said anything just watched. i'm not over the other guy so I'm not rushing into anything. but last night i remembered how scary simple things can be. but how you get over them when you have that support you need. he made me karaoke. i've done this dozens of times. and never really cared. but with him starring me in the eye as I did a spoken work rendition of this song I have never been so nervous yet assured  at once. then everything kind of came crashing down... I don't know what I want... I just know nothing worth having comes easily... this includes ridiculous relationships.... and ones that only exist in your mind...

speaking of minds.... adele... one and only.... every.single.word. just for my situation....i don't even know when I'm going to see him... or if he's even here....


You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day
Lose myself in time just thinking of your face
God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all
You'll never know if you never try
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

If I've been on your mind, you hang on every word I say
Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all
You'll never know if you never try
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/adele-lyrics/one-and-only-lyrics.html)
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy giving up your heart

Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it
Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it

Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I've learned it
Nobody's perfect
(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart)
Trust me I've learned it

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

Come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

what to do

sick day at home... makes me super sad since I'd much rather be at work..... did get an awesome call from my honey who absolutely made me happy.... we argue about ideas and thoughts, not actions or worse, non-actions... if those are the biggest arguments that we have then I am lucky as hell.... and someday things will work out like God wants them to...

New Year....

Happy New Year! :) I had an amazing new year... Literally the most fun I've ever had! My family is amazing.... I was only missing my new years kiss which apparently will be happening sooner than I thought.... I got to talk to my guy... My love. He will be back sometime soon I had the best time talking to him... I miss him so much... So I am excited about him coming back... I guess we're just going to have to rethink our plans and maybe just see how things work out... :) i almost cried when we discussed it... I am so lucky