All falls down...

When you sit back and watch.... Things work themselves out.... I have no idea what or how or who.... But eventually things just figure themselves out.... I just didn't know... I gave so many benefits of doubt that I was even starting to think things were my fault.... And then after some uncharacteristically aggressive actions on my part I got to see what it was like.... And I liked it... But it's almost gone.... Thanks to Irene I've gotten a few more hours... But that's all... And he's just so laid back... No drama.... Looking at the stars talking about what love was like back when our parents fell.... If love like that still exists.... Sitting there watching him think..... I sat there and did my best to not fall.... Because it felt like my stomach was trembling I know this person. I know who he was.... Who he can be.... But have no idea who he wants to be....
I know that I like being around him.... That holding his hand made me feel....right. that he values the little things.... That he appreciates the things that he is aware he is not entitled to but privileged to.... And because of that my appreciation for him is indescribable.... Then the logical part of me plays back the inevitable good bye that is sure to come... But why sit and anticipate the hurt when I can enjoy the now?

Failure..

I am so terrible at being mad... Mainly because after about 4 hours I just want to be held and forget whatever was pissing me off.... It's just that life is too short to waste it being mad over something so trivial.... I mean yes, whatever it was that made me mad was wrong... And I was completely justified in my feelings but it isn't gonna make me a better person or ever happy to be mad... I just want to rewind it all and make it understood from the jump.... I won't be your doormat... I will be waiting with open arms when you realize that....

Partying with the future...

Last night was slightly short of amazing.... Partying with a friend of a friend who happened to be some kind of a celebrity... It was pretty cool.... And my friend is just the cooled female you'd ever meet.... Hotel hopping.... Watching these dudes try and get away from some ratchet groupies... Quite entertaining...

Mr. Close to home Foreigner has really made me wonder what kind of person he really is.... So inconsiderate of my time and feelings. If you'll treat me like this and I'm just around the corner what's gonna happen when you're around the world? I adore his personality and how he acts around me... But if this is how he'll treat me... No thanks. I can't even halfway deal with stuff like that. Flakey is strictly forbidden....

Besides all that Mr. Tenderoni has decided to act out as well... I do not know what is going on but a new team maybe on the horizon.... Ugh.... :/ rough days always follow amazing nights...