She Got Game

Well, not really but it sounded like a great blog title. so. here's the latest problem, i keep falling into this repetitive cycle of seeing a person whom I end up growing, or rather re-growing attached to, then am disappointed when he isn't available when I'd like to see him/spend time with him. This is borderline retarded, yes I am quite aware. not quite a relationship, not quote a friendship... this weird medium where he drives me nuts and I can't stand him but I miss him after not seeing him for a while... oh well...

someone who makes me happy everyday is all i need... well mostly all I need. I just want to be happy... it's not a whole lot to ask.... luckily I'm really good at looking out for me... :)

not alot to discuss, new job is going well. keep getting hit on by random ppl so that's always entertaining... I'm just not at a point where a new person coming in my life is a great idea.... someone said recently that single people rarely enjoy being single... this is true always so worried about the next...

new orleans was amazing. all the fun that I expected and more. wish I was able to help a friend's self esteem problem... maybe that would make her happier instead of focusing what she feels she lacks, she can focus on her pluses... like i do.... well except for the fact that I am full of myself lol.... lucky me. :)

today this coworker asked me if I was seeing anyone I said, yes and no... well yes but it's not serious, then I was like well no but... I finally came to the conclusion that I would just stick with the answer, yes. cause I'm seeing myself lol... the end of that... I couldn't explain it I kinda felt bad...

back to doing me.

drowning....

I keep looking up at the situation that I got myself into. I know what's best for everyone... but then I know what I really want..... I guess I'll learn sooner or later

I just don't know if this is a sign or a whole life alteration.... or... I dunno.... but I care enough about my friend to make a decision based on what's best for him... and not just go off my feelings... oh so much to think about... just feels like when things are looking up, something comes crashing down... oh well... things will get way better... they always do!!