mosquito bites

so the weather in my area has been absolutely showstoppingly gorgeous!! how lame, who blogs about the weather? lol so I went running yesterday and today after work... today the mosquitos tore my sexy ass up.. i have red blotches all around my ankles, and forearms. just awesome!! lol... so anyways. funny story. my grandmother on my mom's side (abuela) was in a hospital and my dad's mom (grandma) went to go visit her, so there's this large lady in a wheelchair in front of her. So my Abuela turns to my Grandma and asks "do you know how to drive?" my Grandma says puzzled "yes, why?" my abuela says to her "can you move that car from in front of me I can't get by..." and points to the large lady... my grandma said she almost fainted of embarrassment when the large lady turned around shooting them dirty looks. My abuela sat there quite pleased with herself, giving "not bothered" at all. *sigh* i am super excited to hopefully be 90 years old, like my abuela and just exclaim whatever I feel like at any given time, with no regard for anyone around me. :) I'm gonna be GREAT at it... until then.... gotta deal with these itchy mosquito bites... ughhhh

(pic is my abuela, 91 and still a fighter lol)

crazy.wild.stupid.

out with my homies last night... kind of night were you wish you would be heading home to get some... wink wink. lol.. but due to recent developements there is none to be had, well.. gotten
but fun highlight, I'm with my girls, and they both abandon me for the bathroom. I'm sitting at the table concentrating on not looking guilty for playing a pussycat doll song on the jukebox, bartender who i think is kind of cute (until otherwise educated by my homie, more on that later) is like you must have played that... me being tipsy and also a horrible liar, turns red, well more red than it already was due to the long islands I was throwing back. My goal for my next birthday is to sip drinks... rather than get trashed... but good news I haven't been sloppy in a very very long time... we do hate sloppy. anyways long story short bartender made some dude buy me a shot. super fun. and more importantly as many times as I had been to that bar, I realized I'm always with my male best friend, who is by definition... a blocker. LOL Don't worry fans, not really a big deal because the bartender had what I believed to be a mole on his cheek, then found out it was actually a piercing.. sooo ewwwwwwwwww fail.. I'll pass... lol anyways working on something huge.. and video blogs to come... maybe.. be good y'all....

sunshine, then rain, now looking for the sunshine again

hanging out with my friend the other night, I thought it was quite amusing that he was trying to kiss me and I was trying to wiggle around to have a view of the end of the monday night football game. i wasn't trying to be a meanie but i really wanted to know who was winning... lol... he's such a great guy... he absolutely makes up for his flaky-ness by being sweet, caring and affectionate... I am 100% aware that this is not enough but I'll let him make it, just cause he's him. quiet, thoughtful, insightful, smart, witty, and a set of dimples that would dive into. I look into those huge brown eyes and I can't help but fall... ughhhh unfortunately this man is a bigger risk than any other man in my life thus far, if I fall I will hit the ground, sadly i find it hard to believe that he's just that perfect, I know he's not, but in my eyes he can do little wrong. I even find myself coming up with excuses as to why he didn't return my call or text... which are just those, excuses.


anyways so back to my regular sport commentary...

a second texan was suspended for the use of performance enhancing drugs on tues. though disappointing, i actually don't really find it too far from what i would have done in his situation. he had knee surgery earlier this year, and recently was out with another injury, he's only 25 ish. if you were his age and worried about your future in the league, would you not try to help your body heal itself?

regardless, the man does deserve some credit for not dragging it out and making it a huge issue, he apologized and vowed to do better in the future. at the very least he did the noble thing and confessed. all you can do is admit fault and move forward. kudos to you sir, be a man and take your punishment, move around and do better the next time.

Performance enhancing drugs.... that's kind of weird right? like isn't that supposed to be a good thing? I mean I am not endorsing nor condoning anything of the sort. I am actually shocked and scared to learn that athletes are putting themselves in this position but seriously I am so hurt that they have to go through all the associated drama.

I feel like i'm just an overly sympathetic person somethings. I am just a mess... I just want to be in his arms..... (yeah totally unrealated but still)

time for some sleep.. x's and o's

patience is a super power.

so lately whenever i hang out with my best friend, his other guys friends try and hit on me... in their defense I have dated a couple of them over the years. but what i really thought was cute was that my best friend was very over protective. it made me laugh.. he was sincerely the sweetest thing I've ever seen.... met a funny guy... and was joking about his abs... cause he was what we call in spanish "ripped" lmbo and he started blushing uncontrollably that was the first time in a long time that I've made someone blush... it was crazy cute... he's not my type but it made my night... the house party was super fun, but yes, some of them chicks were super hood, all so very nice though... man I'm starving and I dunno what I wanna eat... ughhhhh

so much...

football season is here!! I'm so hype!! I feel like this is my version of Valentines day... lol single girls will totally feel me on this one... wait, no they probably won't... single men, maybe....

So let's see. I've had so much hope and love and heartbreak during my break from blogging.. let's skip that and get to the dirt. I have a friend who is absolutely gorgeous, funny, smart, warm and so very ambitious I just adore him, of course he has no idea that I exist... lol of couse he doesn't... I'll see him in a couple of weeks and be confused and nervous and not explain to him how I feel... so I guess that I will have to "grow a pair" for lack of a better term lol.. I need some courage....

the funny thing is, he's what I want... normal... and I feel so very strange about it...

well cheers to football season... and big ups to my longest relationship ever... Me + National football league! =Love!

She Got Game

Well, not really but it sounded like a great blog title. so. here's the latest problem, i keep falling into this repetitive cycle of seeing a person whom I end up growing, or rather re-growing attached to, then am disappointed when he isn't available when I'd like to see him/spend time with him. This is borderline retarded, yes I am quite aware. not quite a relationship, not quote a friendship... this weird medium where he drives me nuts and I can't stand him but I miss him after not seeing him for a while... oh well...

someone who makes me happy everyday is all i need... well mostly all I need. I just want to be happy... it's not a whole lot to ask.... luckily I'm really good at looking out for me... :)

not alot to discuss, new job is going well. keep getting hit on by random ppl so that's always entertaining... I'm just not at a point where a new person coming in my life is a great idea.... someone said recently that single people rarely enjoy being single... this is true always so worried about the next...

new orleans was amazing. all the fun that I expected and more. wish I was able to help a friend's self esteem problem... maybe that would make her happier instead of focusing what she feels she lacks, she can focus on her pluses... like i do.... well except for the fact that I am full of myself lol.... lucky me. :)

today this coworker asked me if I was seeing anyone I said, yes and no... well yes but it's not serious, then I was like well no but... I finally came to the conclusion that I would just stick with the answer, yes. cause I'm seeing myself lol... the end of that... I couldn't explain it I kinda felt bad...

back to doing me.

first dates.....

they're always full of anxiety and observation... I hate movies as first dates because I feel like it doesn't give you a chance to talk or get to know someone. but this was kind of different. it was like the perfect balance of small talk and just experiencing something together. (something being the movie) the gentleman was just that- a gentleman. rushing to open doors, polite, funny and just a sweetie... which is good. glad to see that guys like that still exist; that gives me hope. got a lot to do tomorrow.... none of it is what i want to do... but gotta get it done. back to work on Thursday... both jobs.... so i'll be exhausted and that's always good at least I'll be making some money...

have this huge trip coming up and I just can't wait.... but gotta stack some paper first!! :) new orleans isn't ready!!! kinda bummed about not having a date for the wedding but i guess it happens.... *sigh* oh well...

everything happens for a reason.

throwback....

so i've been watching the hills lately... this is totally out of character for me. but whatever.... sometimes i need to know that I'm not the only one in life with drama.... makes things a whole lot easier.... just a thought.

anyways glad the suns won... i can't stand kobe!! lol

thinking about how different my life would be if i had made better choices... or just different ones... not regretting decisions but definately wondering what paths would have changed!! oh well... i absolutely need to get some stuff figured out by friday...

drowning....

I keep looking up at the situation that I got myself into. I know what's best for everyone... but then I know what I really want..... I guess I'll learn sooner or later

I just don't know if this is a sign or a whole life alteration.... or... I dunno.... but I care enough about my friend to make a decision based on what's best for him... and not just go off my feelings... oh so much to think about... just feels like when things are looking up, something comes crashing down... oh well... things will get way better... they always do!!

Everyday gets easier....

man this chick at work pissed me off and this is the very last time I'm gonna think about how mad i was... some people shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. I know that most of her dramatic nature is due to her emotional past oh well!... that's so sad for her... however.. I'm done with the drama... I love my life! I'm so lucky that I have such a great support circle in my life... and it's gonna get much better... I'm very excited about the summer and my life things are kinda strange... I have so much to do tomorrow... I'm tired of waiting for stuff to happen... but when i try and make it happen it still doesn't work...

so i spoke with a old friend of mine, he told me my problem is that I am far too nice... too nice?? is that possible.. I guess so... he said i need to just be mean, and not care.. and supposedly this is gonna have the catnip effect.. I don't think I care that much but it might be a fun experiment! I guess we'll see anyways im looking forward to happy hour with some friends on thurs... let's hope it's awesome! I'll send pictures!

"some good things fall apart so better ones can replace them"

yeah that dude hit me up and just said an ex of his jumped into the picture... and just like that... tossed me out.... oh well... yeah everyone says it's better that way, and you were too good for him anyways... blah blah blah... words don't heal the hurt. it feels like a john legend lyric... and "everybody know that nobody really know how to make it work or how to ease the hurt" but yes. hurt i am... so i guess that leaves me on the the next... still hurts... but i know that something better is in store for me.... i just wish the speed bumps on this path weren't so painful!

Seriously? All parties involved?? what parties???

so i've been dating a guy seriously for a couple of weeks. he's pretty cool, down to earth, a little eccentric at times but all around a good guy. strangely i feel like he's moving way too fast, I mean he keeps kinda trying to gage my reactions to different things, like marriage, living together and a serious relationship. so I finally toss every other guy to the curb and decide this is the path I want to follow, we've discussed being together a few times and I know this is moving quick but I feel like it's gonna be worth the jump. he asks me if I want to be his girlfriend. I said yes, eventually... then the next morning I say screw it and shoot him a text that says "I want to be your girlfriend" no response, I see him later (he comes into my job) and is all over me, and kissing me and whatnot, not usually a problem I don't mind p.d.a. but I am at work, and yes although I am a bartender it's still kind of inappropriate. so anyways next day I get a 3 hr break between jobs (I have 3 now) and call him, pick up some burgers and go see him. his mood is completely different, he says he's just really tired and hungover but something is off. I know his phone is messed up so I called and left a voicemail and he returned it while I was working. his message made me stress. I mean he never responded about me and the girlfriend thing. so the message was like hit me before a certain time (which i totally missed due to work) and it would be best for all parties involved, for us to speak as soon as possible... all parties involved?! as far as I know it's just me and you bro. so what the hell are you talking about? I reponded with no answer...... not feeling this at all... I like the guy alot but I'm so stressed, and about nothing!?! or at least I have no idea why... I just feel like this is going to be something that is huge and annoying... and painful- emotion wise....

oh well... guess i'll sleep on it....

Football players, Basketball players and working on a tan....

Last night was the beginning of the 2010 NFL Draft, most women have no idea of the significance of this event but I can't get enough. The emotions, the congratulations the disappointments. The way these dudes dreams are coming true, it's so awesome for me... I guess it's just so inspirational to me...

I spent a couple of days in a very small college town visiting a friend of mine... I had fun, but totally missed college. and JUST my luck he leaves for class at like 8 am and not even 15 mins later the fire alarm goes off.... *smh* I was like you have GOT to be kidding me... I threw on some clothes and left to get some breakfast, couldn't fall asleep so then I go to take a shower. OF COURSE he's got no clean towels, end up going and buying him a couple at walmart just so i wouldn't have to drive back 3 hours feeling icky. But i totally can't judge him because when i was in college and knew i was going home for the weekend I would wait til I got home to wash clothes. Plus he's just an all around great guy. Still, he's kind of young...

I got a call back from a normal job so i decided to pass on a bartending job. I hope I make some serious money this weekend because I totally need to have some cash in my life LOL

The married friend of mine is getting stage 5 clingy especially when I told him that I couldn't keep communicating with him. It has become a little too personal... plus i really like that young guy... well for now