sunshine, then rain, now looking for the sunshine again

hanging out with my friend the other night, I thought it was quite amusing that he was trying to kiss me and I was trying to wiggle around to have a view of the end of the monday night football game. i wasn't trying to be a meanie but i really wanted to know who was winning... lol... he's such a great guy... he absolutely makes up for his flaky-ness by being sweet, caring and affectionate... I am 100% aware that this is not enough but I'll let him make it, just cause he's him. quiet, thoughtful, insightful, smart, witty, and a set of dimples that would dive into. I look into those huge brown eyes and I can't help but fall... ughhhh unfortunately this man is a bigger risk than any other man in my life thus far, if I fall I will hit the ground, sadly i find it hard to believe that he's just that perfect, I know he's not, but in my eyes he can do little wrong. I even find myself coming up with excuses as to why he didn't return my call or text... which are just those, excuses.


anyways so back to my regular sport commentary...

a second texan was suspended for the use of performance enhancing drugs on tues. though disappointing, i actually don't really find it too far from what i would have done in his situation. he had knee surgery earlier this year, and recently was out with another injury, he's only 25 ish. if you were his age and worried about your future in the league, would you not try to help your body heal itself?

regardless, the man does deserve some credit for not dragging it out and making it a huge issue, he apologized and vowed to do better in the future. at the very least he did the noble thing and confessed. all you can do is admit fault and move forward. kudos to you sir, be a man and take your punishment, move around and do better the next time.

Performance enhancing drugs.... that's kind of weird right? like isn't that supposed to be a good thing? I mean I am not endorsing nor condoning anything of the sort. I am actually shocked and scared to learn that athletes are putting themselves in this position but seriously I am so hurt that they have to go through all the associated drama.

I feel like i'm just an overly sympathetic person somethings. I am just a mess... I just want to be in his arms..... (yeah totally unrealated but still)

time for some sleep.. x's and o's

patience is a super power.

so lately whenever i hang out with my best friend, his other guys friends try and hit on me... in their defense I have dated a couple of them over the years. but what i really thought was cute was that my best friend was very over protective. it made me laugh.. he was sincerely the sweetest thing I've ever seen.... met a funny guy... and was joking about his abs... cause he was what we call in spanish "ripped" lmbo and he started blushing uncontrollably that was the first time in a long time that I've made someone blush... it was crazy cute... he's not my type but it made my night... the house party was super fun, but yes, some of them chicks were super hood, all so very nice though... man I'm starving and I dunno what I wanna eat... ughhhhh

so much...

football season is here!! I'm so hype!! I feel like this is my version of Valentines day... lol single girls will totally feel me on this one... wait, no they probably won't... single men, maybe....

So let's see. I've had so much hope and love and heartbreak during my break from blogging.. let's skip that and get to the dirt. I have a friend who is absolutely gorgeous, funny, smart, warm and so very ambitious I just adore him, of course he has no idea that I exist... lol of couse he doesn't... I'll see him in a couple of weeks and be confused and nervous and not explain to him how I feel... so I guess that I will have to "grow a pair" for lack of a better term lol.. I need some courage....

the funny thing is, he's what I want... normal... and I feel so very strange about it...

well cheers to football season... and big ups to my longest relationship ever... Me + National football league! =Love!