All falls down...

When you sit back and watch.... Things work themselves out.... I have no idea what or how or who.... But eventually things just figure themselves out.... I just didn't know... I gave so many benefits of doubt that I was even starting to think things were my fault.... And then after some uncharacteristically aggressive actions on my part I got to see what it was like.... And I liked it... But it's almost gone.... Thanks to Irene I've gotten a few more hours... But that's all... And he's just so laid back... No drama.... Looking at the stars talking about what love was like back when our parents fell.... If love like that still exists.... Sitting there watching him think..... I sat there and did my best to not fall.... Because it felt like my stomach was trembling I know this person. I know who he was.... Who he can be.... But have no idea who he wants to be....
I know that I like being around him.... That holding his hand made me feel....right. that he values the little things.... That he appreciates the things that he is aware he is not entitled to but privileged to.... And because of that my appreciation for him is indescribable.... Then the logical part of me plays back the inevitable good bye that is sure to come... But why sit and anticipate the hurt when I can enjoy the now?